


Remembering

by xXNekoetteXx



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Angst, Depression, Domestic Fluff, M/M, Mild Blood, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Mild Language, Possible Character Death, Romance, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-28
Updated: 2018-05-28
Packaged: 2019-05-14 17:12:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14773778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xXNekoetteXx/pseuds/xXNekoetteXx
Summary: Shizuo recalls his and Izaya's life





	Remembering

I remember.

I remember the first time we met. I hated you at first sight and hated you even more as the first thing you did was slash at my chest drawing blood. And how the following years were spent chasing after you.

I remember our chases in Ikebukuro wherein afterwards there are several collateral damages everywhere. I remember the smirk in your face and how you would always tease me calling me a brute, protozoan and whatnot. How I would get pissed and throw anything I could get my hands on. Vending machines, stop signs... anything that could hurt you a lot and if possible-kill you.

I remember the day I said my final goodbye to you. Your eyes widened and a look of shock crossed your face. And as I turned to walk away, certain that that time will be the last time I will ever talk to you, I felt you grabbing the hem of my vest. _Let go_ , I said not turning around. Can’t you see that it’s over? That was the thought running in my mind. _No_ , you whispered your voice sounded so broken. _Please, don’t... don’t leave me behind_. I turned around and saw you looking down, your bangs obscuring your face. No, I must not feel anything for you especially sympathy. I shook your hand off and left.

I remember the guilt I felt that night. The same scenario played over and over in my mind but I knew that I did the right thing by severing our ties. But I couldn’t help but wonder what you meant by _‘don’t leave me behind’_. Confused I ended up wanting to see you despite myself but I know that I shouldn’t.

I remember the week you disappeared. I didn’t think anything of it, not until Shinra came to me saying he hadn’t heard from you either. Shinra had decided that we go check up on you much to my displeasure. But I had to know if something was wrong and if it was my fault that there is something wrong. We arrived at your apartment to find you with your mask broken and in pieces.

I remember the months following that. Those months were spent piecing you back together. You were so broken it was almost impossible. You thought you were all alone in this world but you were wrong. Everyone supported you in your recovery. People who you thought didn’t care about you. Including me. I worked so hard in fixing you and it surprised everyone after all I ‘hated’ you. You looked surprised as well because just a week ago I had said my supposedly ‘final goodbye’. You even thought that I was playing tricks on you and pushed me away every single time. I was persistent though and after a couple months you finally allowed me to help you.

I remember falling in love with you. I started loving everything about you. That smirk which I used to loathe, the way you tease me... I suddenly found myself loving those and more. Surprisingly it wasn’t me who confessed first. _I love you_ , you said. We were just walking around a park in a comforting silence when you said those three words. You were looking away in embarrassment and I smiled and pulled you close. _I love you too_ , I whispered in your ear. And our first kiss was something that I will never forget.

I remember waking up each morning with you beside me. I would smile and run my fingers through your hair and you’d shift closer to me. I would fall asleep again only to have you waking me up with breakfast ready. I would go to my job and go home with you greeting me in a familiar ' _Welcome home_ ’ and I would greet you with my familiar ‘ _I’m home_ ’. You would have dinner and a bath ready for me. We would eat talking about each other’s day how your client was impossibly stupid and how I nearly got a guy in a comatose. We would laugh our voices filling our apartment which you bought despite me not wanting to burden you with the rent.

I remember how I would have days where I feel down. I would stay at the couch without any energy to do anything. You would come by and sit down placing my head on your lap. You would tread your fingers through my hair and hum a soft lullaby. We would stay like that until I get over my depressive episode. Sometimes it would be you who would feel upset. I would hold you close and tell you over and over again that it will be fine and you would sometimes fall asleep in my arms. By the time you wake up you’d be back to normal.

I remember the obstacles in our relationship. How one time we got into a really bad fight. We fought verbally and each word pierced me like knife. How we were so close to breaking up but I had held you in my arms saying, I’ll never let you go. Tears fell down from your cheeks and you held on to me tighter almost as if I was your lifeline. I held you close that night like you would disappear if I didn’t. 

_Shizuo..._

_Shizuo..._

I can feel someone shaking me urgently. What’s going on?

_Shizuo..._

_Shizuo..._

Everything feels numb. My head feels like it’s been bashed into a wall at least 20 times.

_Shizuo..._

_Shizuo..._

Where am I? More importantly where are you?

“Shizuo!”

I open my eyes and groaned slightly at the pain that coursed through my body just from that simple act. My vision is blurry and the light hurts my eyes. I close my eyes wishing the pain would just go away. Almost immediately someone shakes me again.

"Shizuo!”

I reopen my eyes and though hazy I see you. My beloved Izaya. Your face looks bruised and a bit of blood drips from the corner of your mouth. Tears drip from your cheek and lands on my face.

“You idiot protozoan! Why...why?!” You sob and lean forward burying your face into my chest.  
I feel something warm beneath me and saw, just barely, blood pooling from a wound on my chest. “I-Izaya...” I whisper my voice sounding so weak and faint. You straighten up tears streaming down your face. Weakly I lift my hand and cup the side of your face wiping your tears away with my thumb. You sob and more tears fall from your eyes. “I...I did it because...I-”

“Shut up and save your strength!” You look even more distraught and worried as I cough out some blood. “Help will come soon just please...” I smile sadly the last of my strength already slipping away. “I’m...I’m sorry...” I say weakly. Your eyes widen and you shake your head. “No, no please...Shizuo... Shizuo? Shizuo!”

“Izaya...I love you...” My hand falls and I close my eyes.

_I love you so much._

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Thanks for reading 'Remembering' I really appreciate it. I got inspired by a Shizaya amv with the song "Safe and Sound" by Taylor Swift and this fanfic was born. Both Izaya and Shizuo are probably OOC so *shrug*. I might write a sequel to this but that will depend on my inspiration.


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